I am completely frustrated. REALLY frustrated - like only finding one of your socks in the dryer frustrated (does anyone know if the dryer actually EATS our socks?). I am emotionally spent, mentally drained and entrepreneurially worn out by the business of being in business.The kicker is that I am frustrated with myself for getting ot this point! My goal with this blog (besides creating an activity to accompany this bottle of wine I just opened) is to document my journey to this point and hopefully help another powerful woman along the way...If any of this sounds like you - open your own bottle and read own...
Hear ye hear ye...being found guilty as charged of felonious self-sabotage YOU are hereby ordered to cease and desist from the following five actions, activities or beliefs:
1. OVERTHINKING - Let's just start with the most prevelant elephant in the room. I over think everything and analysis paralysis has caused me to miss many an opportunity. My brain is my best friend and worse enemy all in one skull. I have the courage to act on instinct, but what I am learning I need to strengthen is the discipline to act without being certain of the outcomes. Like Martin Luther King Jr said, "Faith is taking the first step without seeing the entire staircase."
START - Learning to let things be what they are and be okay. You don't have to be right as much as you need to be happy.
2. COMPARISON - What God has for you - is just for you. My Grandmother used to say that all the time and it so true. I often find myself peering wistfully into someone else's life and wishing I had their house, sense of style, money, career, etc. After reading a well-timed reminder about gratitude, and reflecting on all of the blessings I already have, did I finally commit to breaking this habit. Comparison is for shopping, not judging...
START - Appreciating the uniqueness of your life and the beauty that is you. If you are sincerely admiring or inspired by someone or something, find a way to do what they are doing - your own way.
3. FEAR - Ask yourself this very simple yet poignant question - what are you REALLY afraid of? For me, I have been driven my entire life by a fear of homelessness after a very brief, but real stay in a hotel with my Mom at age twelve. This fear has influenced so many of my professional and personal decisions over the years, and ultimately led me to be adverse to risk. Once I acknowledged it in counseling, and confronted it in my life, I am happy to say it no longer controls me. So ask yourself...what are YOU afraid of???
START - Speaking your truth to power. What you fear is not inconquerable and only has as much power over you as you assign it. Fear is evidence of opportunities to grow. If you Carpe Diem (seize the day) and take on your biggest fears first - the smallers one will magically disappear, I promise.
4. DELAY - Also known as procrastination, or the first born child of FEAR. I am a master procrastinator and this bad habit is only made worse because I perform exceptionally well under pressure. As I age, I become more aware of the value of time and ways that I waste it - procrastinating was the biggest time waster on my list. Bottom line, do things when they need to be done, not when it feels the best doing them.
START - Celebrating your accomplishments more. self-motivation is a strong elixir for procrastination. I reward myself with small things along the journey and it keeps me going. Binge time with my favorite reality shows, a mani/pedi, my favorite bottle of wine after completing a 5K - they are all ways to keep ME accountable to ME.
5. DENIAL - This one is easy. Stop lying to yourself, period. Stop saying something doesn't matter if it does. Stop dishonoring your pain if it really does hurt. Stop participating in relationships that don't feel good. Stop self-medicating to address #1-4 in this blog. Just STOP IT!
START - Coming clean and forgive yourself for your transgressions. Then forgive everyone else around you. Forgiveness is the healing balm of Gilead. Next, list your blessings in a gratitude journal. If you have trouble identifying your blessings, try meditation and prayer. Invest in the Headspace app for your phone and start with one minute of quiet time per day. Add a minute each day until you reach your desired time frame. Once you begin to see the beauty and magnificence that is your unique life, the greatness of your future will be undeniable.
Being found guilty of any of the aforementioned offenses, you are hereby sentenced to perform countless hours of self-care, endless laughter and pure unadulterated joy!
The Queen of Badassery