(Cue the dark scary music....)
July 28, 2017 was the date that was burned in my brain. This was the date of my last direct deposit check from my employer and now I was truly on the entreprenuerial trapeze without a net. No more mindless shopping, Starbucks ventis and overpriced meals - oh Lord! No more one-day sales at Macy's, goodbye to my perfume fetish and dare I say it - no Directv premium channels (oh I am NOT going cold turkey and give up the NFL channel!) To say I felt sheer terror was an understatement, but there is was no turning back now, I was officially SELF-EMPLOYED, yes I was now the BOSS.
As I lay in my bed trying to itemize all of my monthly expenses, figure out who owed me money, and who I would live with if/when the money ran out, I did what any normal, well-adjusted but clearly spoiled person would do - I PANICKED!!! Full blown meltdown complete with tears and snot in the middle of my california king bed. You know the "why doesn't he love me", "you are getting a spanking when I get home", "I didn't get the promotion" dramatic tantrum.
Fortunately for me, I knew who to call to pull me back from the edge. My best friend of 31 years and life coach extraordinaire Kathy Duprey (www.coachkathywilson.com) listened to my whining and juvenile forecasts of my impending doom for a full hour before she shut me up and down. I recommend you visit her site and book your own consultation, I wanted to share just a few of the nuggets of wisdom that came out of our discussion that I will call the "FIVE emotional roadblocks you must overcome to be a successful entreprenuer":
There will be an unlimited supply of things to worry about once you are your own boss so get used to it. Bills, clients, payroll, family, personal life its all a part of the package. Feel the fear, take a deep breath, and figure out the solution. That's what you did when you worked for someone else, and its the same thing you will need to do now. Bills - call and get an extenstion; repo man - hide the car in your best friend's garage; clients - fire them or give them a discount for longer commitments and referrals; family - hire the talented and ignore the ignorant; bottom line - each fear has a solution and you are smart enough to figure that shit out.
Everywhere you look there will be someone with something better looking, more effective, or God forbid the appearance of instant success written all over it. Upon encountering them or it, you will immediately feel the burn of envy start from your feet and make its sweaty way up to your forehead. Relax, relate and release! Comparison is a waste. Remember that their journey does not reflect yours and their success has nothing to do with you. Use the envy as a natural energy resource and get back to work!
Face it, up until the point you walk/walked away from your J-O-B, you were like Linus with a blanket. A job can feel like security with its salary, benefits, covered parking, free coffee, catered lunches....sorry I digress - that was the world I walked away from...but was it really secure? If you read nothing else I write HEAR ME - if you don't own it, you are subject to it, and it can not secure you! So breathe, step away from the blanket...and start living your dreams...and popping a Xanax if needed!
The first time I got a text from one of my former peers looking for me because she assumed I was in my established position at the front sponsor table of a $1,000 seat function, and I was at home binge watching Orange is the New Black, I was so pitifully sad. I reflected on the very recent time I was one of the cool kids all dressed up and being acknowledged by Detroit's professional elite. I mourned my professional life filled with all of the awards, news articles and coveted position on every invitation list in the city, but guess what? I got over it and so will you. Feel the sadness but remember that joy comes in the morning when you can lie in the bed as long as you damn well please!
In our microwave, pre-fabricated society, the expectation that we should be successful immediately is not unusual, but it is certainly unrealistic. With all my intelligence and talent, I still had no way of anticipating the things I would need to know to be an entreprenuer. More time and money than I care to admit was spent on dead end paths as I found my way. If you are like me, and usually pretty good at everything, this was especally frustrating, but as I have learned, very necessary. I quickly determined that the road to entreprenuership is littered with mindless detours, financial potholes and distracting competitors. Patience with the process grows as you celebrate each day that you are self-employed, achieving incremental success and still paying your bills. You will see it when you believe it - not the other way around!
Whatever you feel from this list or any other one, know that it is normal and necessary. Immerse yourself in your dream....surround yourself with people who are on a similiar journey....educate and feed your spirit with books that inspire you....but most importantly bask in the warmth of your courage and God's grace!
If no one else does, I believe in you!